Doofenshmirtz Becomes a Brony
by Delusional Potato
Summary: The Tri-State Area's most evil scientist has a dark secret, one that Perry unfortunately finds out about... Oneshot.


**Hello there! Delusional Potato here with a silly little oneshot for all to enjoy! Although this technically isn't a crossover, I didn't want to upset strictly P&F fans with ponies (since apparently ponies are the most offensive thing in the world). This was simply done out of fun and is not meant to be taken seriously. If you're somehow offended by this, please keep your opinions to yourself. No one likes a flamer, but I will accept constructive criticism.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><em>"Doofenshmirtz watching televisiiiiiiiiiion~!"<em>

"Ugh, there's nothing on!"

A middle-aged man sat on a purple recliner in a white tanktop, underwear, and socks. He had a bowl of popcorn sitting in his lap and a remote control in his left hand.

Though Doctor Heinz Doofenshmirtz often occupied himself with trying to dominate the Tri-State Area with ridiculous inventions and doomsday devices, today was different. Saturday was when the evil scientist took a break from late night scheming and plotting. Instead, he was spending his time watching television, but unfortunately, there appeared to be nothing on.

"What does it take to find something good on nowadays?" Doof muttered to himself. He paused, "Oh! I know what I'm going to do today! I'll build a Destroy-All-Bad-Shows-Inator! Meh... I'll do it tomorrow..."

His thumb rapidly began clicking the channel changing button. He flipped through the channels, barely pausing to look at what was being shown. He saw a show about a strange British man riding in a box.

"Too sci-fi." Doof muttered.

He watched another show about cartoon sea animals focusing on a sponge and a starfish.

"Too childish." He critiqued.

He saw another show with a cartoon blue jay and a raccoon.

"Ick! This one fries my brain!" Doof quickly changed the channel.

The next channel showed two boys sitting under a tree in their backyard. One boy had a triangular shaped head with a mop of orange hair. The other one had a rectangular shaped head with green hair.

"Too breaking-of-the-fourth-wall!" Doof complained. He groaned and shoved a handful of popcorn in his mouth before reclining back in his chair, "Why isn't there anything good to watch?"

However, the theme song of a different show began. Doof sat bolt-upright, his eyes focusing on the screen, which now showed a purple cartoon unicorn and a small, purple cartoon dragon riding in a pink hot-air ballon through the clouds. A happy tune played in the background as a female voice began to sing:

_"My Little Pony, My Little Pony! Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh~..."_

Doof succumbed to laughter, "My Little Pony?! That show's for little girls who wear frilly pink dresses and believe in unicorns!"

* * *

><p>At that very moment, far away in Danville, Isabella was hit with the sense of a middle-aged evil scientist hating on her kind.<p>

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><p>"I mean really!" Doof continued to complain, "Who else would ever watch that show besides little girls? In fact, why don't I watch it myself to demonstrate just how girly and dumb it is?"<p>

The theme song had stopped playing and cut to the same purple unicorn running along the streets of a colorful town with a saddlebag slung over her back. Doof found himself laughing again.

"These colors are painful to look at!" He critiqued, "You can't even watch the show without getting a headache!"

As the episode played on, Doof learned the names of the ponies: Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash. He watched as Twilight met them all, making stupid comments about how the show was so awful, despite the fact that he continued to watch it. Then, it got to the part where Princess Celestia was supposed to raise the sun for the Summer Sun Celebration. However, Doof found himself gasping when he saw that Celestia had mysteriously vanished.

"Oh, like we didn't know that was going to happen!" He jeered, "So boring and predictable!"

Doof snapped to attention when he saw the purple smoke on the balcony start to take form. A menacing, black alicorn stood there, staring at all the frightened ponies with a hateful look in her eyes.

"Whoa! A villain!" Doof gasped, "Nooowww we're talking!"

The evil scientist was thoroughly intrigued. He watched the new villain, Nightmare Moon, taunt the ponies about her return. Unfortunately, the show cut out after the evil alicorn was finished with her maniacal laughter. Doof was left with a _To be continued._

"...What? That's it?" He asked, "...Maybe I should find part two. I want to at least know what happens to the ponies, then I'll stop watching it!"

* * *

><p>Fifty-one episodes later, it was dawn, and Doof was moving on to season three. He already had a favorite pony, villain, background pony, princess, and episode.<p>

"Just... One... More... Episode..." He groaned, his popcorn sliding out of his lap and hitting the floor, "Oh, it's a part two... I'll watch them both and it will be the very last episode..."

However, as the theme song began to play once again, Doof was hit with a painful realization. He was actually enjoying the show. He hadn't made a rude comment about it ever since the first episode. He looked at himself, fear suddenly overwhelming him.

"I'm a fan of the show!"

* * *

><p>It was just another normal morning for Perry the platypus. His owners Phineas and Ferb were lying on the couch, contemplating as to what to do on the muggy summer day. Suddenly, Phineas stood up and shouted:<p>

"Ferb! I know what we're gonna do today!"

The two boys wandered off into the backyard. Perry took this as a sign to put on his signature fedora and slip under the couch, where a secret hatch was located. He jumped down the trapdoor and into a long pipe. He came out and landed in a secret room, where a large monitor sat before him. A man with a unibrow and a white mustache and hair was on the screen.

"Ah, Agent P!" Major Monogram greeted, "We've been getting reports that Dr. Doofenshmirtz has been inactive for three days now. We're worried that he's planning something big, and we need you to investigate what he's up to."

The semiaquatic mammal saluted before taking off towards the pipe from which he came from.

* * *

><p>"Doofenshmirtz... Evil... *yawn* Incorporated..."<p>

With no hesitation, Perry kicked down the door that led to Doof's apartment. He expected to be immediately trapped by some weird contraption. Surprisingly, no cages dropped from the ceiling, nor did robotic arms appear out of nowhere and restrain his limbs, nor did Doof's personal robot, Norm, grab him and take him hostage. In fact... Doof's lair was mysteriously quiet. All of his machines and past Inators appeared to have been inactive for days. The entire place was covered in dust and completely quiet... Except for a happy tune coming from one corner of the room.

Perry turned towards the sound. He recognized the tune, since Candance used to watch it all the time when she was little. He quickly rushed over and hid behind the reclining chair that contained his arch-nemesis. A terrible smell hit the platypus' nostrils. Perry realized it was coming from Doofenschmirtz himself, who was apparently unmotivated to get up and take a shower. Stale popcorn littered the floor, as well as something else Perry wasn't expecting.

Plushies. Tons and tons of cartoon pony plushies surrounded Doof. Perry started to get worried. He sure hoped this wasn't like Carl's disturbing obsession with dancing to the "Dr. Coconut" song.

Sensing that Doof wasn't planning to trap him as he always did, Perry waddled out from behind the chair and stood directly in front of the TV. Doof, who was wearing a stained tank-top and briefs immediately scowled at the presence of the platypus.

"Ah, Perry the platypus," The evil scientist began, "Your arrival was completely unexpected. And by completely unexpected I mean... Well, completely unexpected. What are you doing here? I haven't done anything evil for the past three days!"

Perry glared at him before pointing at the numerous pony plushies.

"Those?" Doof asked, suddenly blushing crimson red, "Could... You do me a favor and not ask about those? It's a long and very embarressing story."

_"Hrhrhrhrr!" _Perry objected.

"I swear to Celestia I'm not-!" Doof covered his mouth, "Oh Celestia, what am I-?" He paused and stared at the puzzled platypus, "You know, I'm just as confused as you are."

Perry turned to the television, wondering if it was some sort of mind control device that Doof had invented, but accidentally used on himself. He stared at the episode of My Little Pony, not feeling any different, other than he was very confused as to why Doofenshmirtz -a man who was annoyed by beards and kickballs- was watching something like this. Perry would have expected him to build a "Ponyinator" to destroy all ponies by now.

So what was preventing him from doing it?

"I know what you're thinking, Perry the platypus," Doof began, chuckling nervously, "But before you start judging me, the show isn't nearly as girly as it seems. It's actually really manly!"

Perry's glare only intensified.

"Please, won't you give it a chance?" Doof asked with his best puppy-dog face.

Perry rolled his eyes. Even though they were arch-enemies, they shared a somewhat love/hate friendship. Despite how much Perry wished to leave Doof in the self-destructing lairs, or how much he wished to let him fall to his death, Perry just couldn't let that happen; mainly because he wouldn't have anything to do if Doof simply blew up or went _splat_ against the concrete.

And the last thing Perry wanted was for Doof to go on a rampage. He was actually enjoying the evil scientist's inactivity, allowing him to hang out with his beloved owners, Phineas and Ferb.

So with heavy reluctance, Perry sat on a pile of pony plushies and stale popcorn in front of the television.

Doof's smile grew, "Great! I knew you'd come around, Perry the platypus!" He pressed the play button, as the theme song began to play.

Perry promised himself he would pretend to like the first episode, then immediately leave to report back to Major Monogram (how he was going to explain this, he had yet to figure out). He told himself to just get through the first episode, then leave. Making Doof angry was the last thing he wanted.

_Just one episode..._

* * *

><p><em>Where did I go wrong?<em>

Two seasons later, Perry found himself wearing a Pinkie Pie hat and an Applejack t-shirt. The details of what had happened during the show were blurry.

"Isn't this great?" Doof asked, "Now, we're Bronies!"

Perry turned and stared at him.

"Oh! You don't know what a Brony is?" The scientist asked, "Well, I looked it up online. They're male fans of the show, bro-ponies! Turns out, there's an entire fandom for it!"

_"Hrhrhrhrhrrr!"_ Perry objected, which roughly translated to: _What have you corrupted me with?!_

"Don't be such a stick-in-the-mud, Perry the platypus!" Doof teased, pushing a Fluttershy plushie in the platypus' face, "Behold, the Cuteinator! Come on! You can't resist the cuteness!"

Sadly, Perry could not. He hugged the plushie and gave a happy,_ "Hrhrhrr!"_

The platypus would never admit it, but he was a Brony. He thoroughly enjoyed the show, and was surprised that he was actually able to get along with Doofenshmirtz because of it. Nonetheless, he was enjoying himself, watching the cartoon ponies beat up bad guys, save the day, and learn about friendship.

As the next episode played on, Doofenshmirtz quietly muttered, "Twilight is best pony..."

Perry objected with a loud, _"Hrhrhrhrhrr!"_

"What?! You like Applejack?!" Doof asked. He gave a laugh, "But she's a background pon-! OOF!"

The evil scientist was gifted with a sharp punch across the face that knocked him out of his chair. Perry was standing in a battle stance now.

_"Hrhrhrhrr!"_ The platypus growled.

"Oh, okay that is it!" Doof taunted, "You did not just insult Twilight Sparkle!"

Perry didn't say anything, but Doof gasped dramatically.

"Take. That. BACK!"

The scientist jumped on the platypus, only to have him flip him over his small body. Doof landed with a 'thud', his body cracking in objection. He stood up, only to have Perry jump up, whip around, and slap him with his beaver tail. Doof fell backwards into a pile of plushies, Perry quickly following him. The scientist started to throw his various plushies at the platypus who simply caught them and gently set them down again. Perry tackled Doof. They rolled head over heels in the piles of plushies and slammed into the television, causing it to fall and smash into pieces.

"Oh now look at what you've done!" Doofenshmirtz complained, "I got that at a LOVEMUFFIN yard sale! It cost me seventy bucks!"

Perry ignored him and began to repeatedly hit him in the face with an Applejack plushie. He fought back by hitting his archenemy with a Twilight plushie. However, Perry suddenly stopped, causing Doof to stop as well. Platypus and evil scientist stared at each other, completely silent.

"What are we doing?" Doof asked.

Perry shrugged innocently, giving a clueless, _"Hrhrhrr!"_

"It's worse than I thought!" The scientist exclaimed, "We're not just fans... We're diehard fans!"

Perry's eyes widened in fear, _"Hrhrhrhrr?!"_

Hey, it's not my fault! You liked the show too!"

Human and platypus simply stared at each other, unsure of what to do next.

"Wanna watch more?" Doof asked.

Perry smiled and nodded vigorously. Immediately, he and Doof charged to the recliner, Doof sitting in the chair and Perry perched on the back. They began to watch the show filled with pastel ponies and happy adventures.

* * *

><p>"Carl! Where's Agent P?" Major Monogram asked the young, red-haired boy in the lab-coat.<p>

"I don't know sir," Carl replied, "He hasn't even checked in the past few mornings."

"Not since he left to investigate Doofenshmirtz's inactivity," Monogram stated, "I'm worried though. What if Doofenshmirtz did something awful to him?"

"Doofenshmirtz hurt Agent P, sir?" Carl asked sarcastically, "Agent P's too smart to let himself be hurt."

"But what if he was hurt? Then we lost one of our best agents!"

"Oh, sir!" Carl announced, "Someone just accessed the Flynn-Fletcher entrance! That must be Agent P!"

Just then, the platypus in questioned dropped from the ceiling and landed in front of the monitor that showed Monogram and Carl. Along with his signature fedora, he was wearing a shirt with an orange cartoon pony on it.

"Agent P..." Monogram began, before he burst into laughter, "What are you wearing?!"

Perry looked down at himself, noticing that he had forgotten to ditch the pony shirt. He blushed brightly and ripped the shirt off himself before throwing it into the corner.

"You're a Brony?!" Monogram cackled, "That's crazy!"

"Hey, don't diss Bronies!" Carl shouted, appearing on the screen. He unbuttoned his lab coat to show that he was wearing a t-shirt with a large, black alicorn with holes all in her body, "I'm one of them, and a diehard fan of Queen Chrysalis!"

"Even though Discord's better..." Monogram muttered.

"Hold on! How do you know Discord?"

"Uh... My... Daughter makes me watch it with her?"

"You don't have a daughter!"

"How do you know? You know nothing about my life!"

"But I know one thing, you're a Brony, Major Monogram!"

"I am not! I would never participate in something so childish!"

"Oh, you so are!"

"Carl, quit arguing with me!"

"Sorry sir." Carl immediately shrunk off screen.

"Sorry for that, Agent P," Monogram apologized, "Carl's been being a butthead recently."

Perry simply stared at them. He immediately pulled out a picture of Doofenshmirtz and placed a pony sticker next to him.

"Doofenshmirtz is a Brony?!" Monogram asked, clearly shocked.

"You're kidding!" Carl added, "The man who's annoyed by beards and kickball likes ponies?! Maybe we can all get together and watch ponies-!"

"No Carl!" Monogram growled. He turned back to Perry, "So that's what Doofenshmirtz is doing? Watching ponies for three days straight?"

Perry nodded.

"And then he dragged you into it?"

Perry nodded again.

"Ah, well..." Monogram hesitated, unsure of how to respond, "I suppose that's... Innocent enough. I... Guess you can return to your family unit, Agent P, since Doofenshmirtz isn't doing anything paticularly evil."

Perry saluted vigorously before disappearing up a pipe leading to his owner's backyard.

"Monogram's a Brony..." Carl snickered.

"Shut up, you cheeselegs-loving weirdo!" Monogram shot back, "Ugh, how can anyone even like Chrysalis?!"

* * *

><p>That night, Perry laid on the couch in the middle of his owners, Phineas and Ferb. They were flipping through the channels, searching for something to watch.<p>

"There's nothing on tonight," Phineas stated blankly, "And it's too late to go out and build something."

Suddenly, they came across a bright cartoon filled with cartoon ponies. Perry suddenly began sweating nervously.

"Isn't this what Isabella watches?" Phineas asked, "She keeps asking me to watch it, but it just looks so girly!"

Usually silent man Ferb suddenly spoke in a wise tone, "We shouldn't judge a book by its cover, nor should we judge a show by it's cliché reputation built up over the past twenty years."

Phineas stared at Ferb for a moment before turning back to the television set, "I guess you're right. We'll watch one episode and that will be it for us, just so we can tell Isabella that we watched it."

Ferb gave a thumbs up before turning back to the television. Perry watched as the episode progressed with a smile on his face.

_One does not simply watch one episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic._

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><p><strong>Yes, I referenced Doctor Who, Spongebob Squarepants, Regular Show, and Phineas and Ferb themselves with Doofenshmirtz's channel changing scene. If you caught it, good for you! <strong>


End file.
